I’ve seen bad texters respond quickly and write paragraphs.
I’ve seen people who “aren’t ready for a relationship” get ready in few conversations.
I’ve seen a girl proposing me in front of 24 friends to marry her ASAP on my birthday, who used to say “I DON’T NEED A MAN TO BE HAPPY” since 7 years. (Hello Lioness😜).
A healthy adult relationship is one where both people in the relationship give and both receive. There is a safe, equal and open exchange of ideas, communication, feelings, and thoughts and all perspectives are considered and valued. There is also the freedom to respectfully challenge, heal, confront, and strengthen one another.
At the end what matters is a TRUTHFUL CONSISTENT person who gets you, no matter what’s coming. If someone wants you, you won’t have to ask for effort.
In a generation of people who want to be heartless, and empty of feelings, then call it SAVAGE, it’ll be hard to be someone who is what a HUMAN should be. Do not become like the world.
Be loyal, be truthful, be consistent, be emotional, and be full of feelings. Be hungry for love, be thirsty for affection, and anything else human beings ought to desire. With time moving up, you will experience people who match your energy, enthusiasm & optimism.
Let others be foolish and cold. Don’t dim your light to become as dark as they are.
(This Instagram post got nothing to do with the post above. My love for G-Shock watches goes back to A-level/high school days. Not a secret i am a huge sneakerhead, but i love watches too. YES I have some 46 watches right now, 7 are Casio G-shock watches. And when my bestie DEMI sees this at evening, she can guess what to gift me during thanksgiving dinner.)😜
Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still giggles when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people. The support and love you’ve offered others has made someone’s day. Your input and opinions have made someone think twice. You’re not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence makes a positive difference, whether you see it or not. You just have to remain truthful & consistent with the way you are. You are unique & beautiful. Be you.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. It’s talking about obesity problem in USA. 2 out of every 3 US citizens are either overweight or obese, 1 is obese. And last 1 left is in tiktok i guess.😂 I am not surprised actually. If you eat Egg Mcmuffin & french fries with starbucks coffee for breakfast, what else do you expect! People drive miles to buy crappy fastfood & gain weight, then they talk about pollution & body positivity. Sadly this trend is slowly spreading in UK & Europe, but i am also happy that so many of those american fastfood chains aren’t present here so far. I can talk about life in Cardiff & Berlin, very few people prefer to eat out often. Even if they want to, at least we have an option to choose a full monty english breakfast/doner kebab/vegan avocado toast & natty acai bowl with enough lean meat/eggs/mushroom/vegetables/nuts/oats/berries/fruits at an affordable price. No offence to anyone reading from USA. I have cousins & friends in Cali, i tease them about being fat or fab everyday.😜)
A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
1. The kindest people aren’t born that way, they are made. They are the souls that have experienced so much at the hands of life, they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the dark, who have fought to turn every loss into a lesson. The KINDEST people do not just exist, they choose to soften where circumstance has tried to harden them, they choose to believe in goodness, because they have seen firsthand why COMPASSION is so necessary. They have seen firsthand why TENDERNESS is so important in this world.
2. Surround yourself with people who are doing the work to HEAL themselves. Surround yourself with those who want to talk to you about IDEAS rather than other human beings. Surround yourself with people who LOVE and RESPECT themselves, people who are GENTLE and KIND and who ENCOURAGE CONNECTION. Surround yourself with people who genuinely show up in your life, people who don’t just want attention, or praise, or validation from you. Surround yourself with those who want to GROW with you. These people will change your life.
3. Being understood fosters a different kind of INTIMACY that is untouchable. The rarest, most profound kind of connection you are going to experience will not be with the person who instantly gratifies you, but rather, with the kind of human being who sees you clearly. Ask yourself who makes you feel the most you? Who sees you in ways you don’t see yourself? Who pours calm and ease into the heart of you? Those people who came to mind are rare and beautiful gifts. Never take them for granted.
4. Do not just be THANKFUL for the things you deem positive in life. Be thankful for the EMOTIONS you also deem negative, because it is within the darkness that we grow to APPRECIATE the light. The hardest things in life are building you, and reminding you of your capacity to overcome. At the end of the day, nothing you have experienced thus far has defeated you. There is POWER in reminding yourself of that. You are capable of braving the storms, that is what they are there to teach you.
5. Please don’t ever forget that so many human beings you come into contact with are all trying to heal themselves from the things they often do not discuss. Always choose to be KIND. Always choose GRACE.
Mama said; “You never need to be religious. Religious people believe bit too much in god, angel, heaven, hell & demons. And that’s low-key toxic in 2021. But you must believe in KARMA, you will get what you give. Karma is real. The nature of our world is based on EQUILIBRIUM. Good intentions & kind acts will always be rewarded, even GOD’s existence depends on that goodness. Karma & Kindness go hand in hand. This tiny bit of knowledge is SPIRITUAL, not religious. Become little spiritual with time“.
My takeaway from this is; YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO DISRESPECT PEOPLE. YOU CANNOT TREAT PEOPLE LIKE GARBAGE AND WORSHIP GOD AT THE SAME TIME. THAT’S BOTH DOUBLE STANDARDS & FAKEFUCKERY. Be truthful & real. If you have little time to make someone smile, do it. Buy a loaf of bread for a homeless person or crack a dick joke to a sad friend, both will help you score some good Karma for your trip to heaven when you leave this planet. If you think heaven is hoax, join hands with such people who will help you experience heaven on earth. Kindness is the easiest step towards your spiritual journey.
You weren’t placed on this earth to just pay bills and die. Be kind, truthful & remain consistent. Be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen, heard, valued, loved and supported. Touch & change some lives. People must remember your soul is/was clean & caring.
Sometimes my white friends want to know to whom i am saying “RAM RAM” over phone instead of starting a conversation with a simple HELLO!! Today is the right day to answer this. This has something to do with my values, upbringing, religion, morals, childhood & my grandpa’s bedtime stories because my both parents were working. I am not a strong believer in religion the way people portray now a days. But i believe in your beliefs. I believe there’s GOD, a positive divine power guiding us from somewhere. If you are productive, truthful, consistent with what you do from a clean heart, kind or humble towards other human, all of these acts are filled with godly goodness. I am born Hindu, and i believe i am a practicing Hindu. My religion teaches there are multiple forms of GOD, and there are multiple pathways to heaven, so all religions must be treated with equal amounts of respect & acceptance.
Let’s get back to my answer. Before some thousands of years there used to be a King named “Lord Ram”, incarnation of god significant to Hinduism. Some circumstances forced him to stay away from his family & palace. He lived in forest for 14 years like a normal human leaving his royalty aside. During those 14 years, he fought some demons, saved his wife & kingdom after killing a 10 headed monster named Ravan. Those 10 heads represent lust, anger, delusion, greed, pride, envy, mind, intellect, will and the ego. Ravan is the example how certain negative traits can downsize good qualities & the world remembers him as a MONSTER today. Today is the date “LORD RAM” killed Ravan & “godess DURGA” killed mahishasur, this day symbolises victory of good over evil & we celebrate it as DUSSEHRA. HAPPY DUSSEHRA TO EVERYONE WHETHER YOU ARE CELEBRATING OR NOT.
After killing Ravan, Lord Ram returned back to rule his kingdom. Under his kingdom, there was no place for any criminal or derogatory behaviour. He established a standard for men to be truthful, faithful, kind, loyal & brave. Till the day he ruled, every human being enjoyed equal amounts of respect & happiness. So when a Hindu says “RAM RAM”, Ram is the goodness/god inside you/your soul. One Ram is for you & other one for me. The meaning behind it is; “WE ARE EXCHANGING EQUAL AMOUNTS OF RESPECT AS HUMANS WITH A HOPE TO SEE A WORLD LIKE LORD RAM’S KINGDOM WHERE EVERYONE IS HAPPY & TREATED EQUALLY”.
A person’s CHARACTER is not about how they come to your life or how long did they stay!! It’s about how consistent & truthful they are or how they leave.
(This video got nothing to do with the post above. But it’s a good dose of knowledge & entertainment. Allow yourself to grasp this 10 minute YouTube video, you will have a clear idea about money, passion, relationship & so much more.)
Staying in a relationship just because you love somebody is not worth it. Love is not all you need. Respect is what you need. Reassurance is what you need. Communication is what you need. Heart to heart conversation is what you need. Happiness is what you need. Knowing everyday you’re their favorite person is what you need. Learn to love yourself first, let other one match it.
When someone not so familiar asks me “Ever been in LOVE!?!”. My answer is: Yeah 3 times.
1. When i woke up at 5.45am today morning just wearing a trunk & i saw my 5 pack abs. 2. When i was getting ready for university, because now i am a PhD research scholar. 3. When i received my bank balance text after buying groceries at Lidl. I fall in love with myself 3 times everyday.
Two exceptions i must mention; 1. When a kid accidentally says my name TAP after i touch his/her nose while saying TAP TAP TAP. 2. When a cute caucasian girl or a latina mami in a beach with a fine 🍑 approaches me, can’t beat that one. Special mention; also when my bestie bitch makes coffee for me when i am working from home at her house. This one is dedicated for you Demi. Done.