Few ways you can express how you feel towards someone;
1. I love you. 2. I need you. 3. I want you. 4. I want to be with you. 5. I don’t want to be without you. 6. I can’t live without you. 7. I miss you.
NEED, needs can be met somewhere else & being needy means being weak as well. LOVE, this word is highly misused by people & especially someone like me needs a year to trust after a year of healing. WANT is my favourite & number-3 is my pick out of all these 7. WANT is that animalistic desire inside. Which means i know i have few suitors/options, but who cares because it’s you and just you that i WANT for myself. In case you love someone, remind them constantly & consistently that YOU WANT THEM.
Last time someone said “I WANT YOU” to me was on my birthday. I haven’t replied that till now. Never rushed towards anyone. Never allowed anyone to rush towards me either. The simple reason is; “If someone is investing their time & energy on me, that person deserves a whole TAP”. I am that kind of a person who hides nothing. My only secrets are my bank account/credit card pin or my email/social media account passwords. And right now, i am still in that phase of healing i mentioned above.
Whenever i say “LIONESS” in my posts, it’s my appreciation to that person who understands where i am coming from & why. Appreciated for picking/dropping me at airport. Appreciated for taking me out to my favourite brunch. Appreciated for buying me a pair of white vans kicks after watching squid games. Appreciated for helping me with carwash. Appreciated for typing my thesis. Very few people come with a clean heart & no stupid outlandish expectations. So LIONESS, Like your favourite alphabet is T, my favourite word is “APPRECIATION”. Rest all are a LEO-LEO thing i guess.😜 Every relationship of your life is a major investment of time & energy. Take your sweet time, that says all about who’s who.
People bring perceptions. Even our media outlets, news channels & newspaper all try to portray a perception. The same way your understanding is also a perception. The problem with PERCEPTION is, it’s a mixture of truth, lies, nonsense, imaginary bullshit & fakefuckery.
What i want in life is TRUTH. TRUTH always remains same. There are no 2 sides to TRUTH. The story of TRUTH never changes. TRUTH’s approach, flow, guidance, information & assistance all are CONSISTENT. If someone/something is TRUTHFUL, the only proof is whether it’s CONSISTENT. TRUTH IS CONSISTENT, ALWAYS.
(RIP Sir David Amess. Everytime there’s a knife attack or rape/drugs/abduction incident, either it’s a Pakistani or a Somalia based immigrant who’s the culprit in 90% cases. I am not just talking about UK, this happened in Germany before a month & couple of times in Montreal-Canada last year. And this thing called ISLAMIC EXTREMISM has no sign of stopping. Fuck that idea of religion which makes you kill someone in the name of GOD. There should be a definition for this term TERRORIST.Every motherfucker who owns an illegal weapon is a terrorist in my eyes & every person who supports them must be treated the same way. All Governments must come together to form a resolution that next time a terrorist is killed or captured, never mention he belongs to which country/religion/organization. Just mention, an INSECT was caught & killed. That’s it. Giving these assholes an identity is a major failure of our society.)
Throughout the years I have learned three major things;
1. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and sometimes you might think you know someone, you might think they’re on your side but deep down inside they’re not. Pay attention. True intentions take you towards right action. Actions speak louder than words. And wrong people use words to cover up truth with lies.
2. Almost everything we go through we can’t control. That means, if it’s yours, then somewhere down the line it’ll return to you and if it’s not, then you have to make peace with it and move on, It’s as simple as that.
3. Letting go is never an easy thing to do. No matter how many times you’ve rehearsed it, no matter how many times you’ve played it in your head, it never goes as planned and almost always does it sting a little harder than you thought.
(Not my words).
AT THE END OF THE DAY IT’S NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU HAVE OR EVEN WHAT YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED. IT’S ABOUT WHO YOU’VE LIFTED UP, WHO YOU’VE MADE BETTER. IT’S ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE GIVEN BACK.
I am not a superhuman. I have walked the same life path as many others. Character, Truth, Consistent approach, Loyalty, Decency & Respect are way too expensive 2021. And this world is running on a discount sale right now, result is cheap people. Those who come at you will disappoint you one way or other, period.
Inconsistency was there. Disrespect was there. Misunderstandings were there. Inappropriate behaviour was there. Lies were there. Cheating was there. Unacceptable bullshits were playing catch catch. Heartbreak was there.
Good part is; all were there in past past past, my present has nothing but a beautiful life that people can only dream about. My lesson was: have EXPECTATIONS, but only from yourself. Always be the better person. And make your intentions pure. What and who you are is what will be remembered. Pain is inevitable and it will always exist. But if you focus on understanding what you are and what you are feeling, and why you are feeling it, you will overcome it.
The expectations we have often do not correspond with reality, we are disappointed every time this happens. We become disappointed when we expect to be treated as we treat others. When you start to realize that everyone is living at a different stage, thinking differently and making their choices, then you can only accept the fact that people do not share the same mind and heart. When you want to be happy you have to let go of that and start with yourself, be the person you can be proud of, be an example, show respect and understanding. Others may not change, but know that it is not up to you and be proud of how you are. You’ve got so much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. EXPECTATION IS TO BE A BETTER HUMAN FIRST.
Most people think i hate liars because i write about predicative patterns of a person who’s lying. Actually i love liars. The best thing about a liar is; his/her estimation of hiding something to avoid lying about it. And the catch is; “when you lie about something, your voice says you are lying because there’s too much inconsistency. And when you hide about something, your behaviour speaks about it. Again the same reason because there’s too much inconsistency”.
A liar is predictable either ways. I love it because I just want to applaud that effort behind creating so much nonsensical garbage in head. People lose their value & that can never be restored. Once that mojo is lost, it’s just gonna give bitter taste afterwards. Karma has the cure for everyone, you will get served exactly what you offer.
Don’t worry about what people think of you or about the way they try to make you feel. If people want to see you as a good person, they will. If they want to see you as a bad person, absolutely nothing you do will stop them. Ironically, the more you try to show them your good intentions, the more reason you give them to knock you down if they are commited to misunderstanding you.
Keep your head up high and be confident in what you do. Be confident in your intentions and keep your eyes ahead instead of wasting your time on those who want to drag you back. Because you can’t change people’s views, you have to believe that true change for yourself comes from within you, not from anyone else. STAY TRUE TO YOURSELF & JUST YOURSELF, THAT’S ENOUGH.
(That post on 10-April was scheduled before a year. Don’t take it seriously, things change. That’s the reason i deleted it.)