You can’t skip chapters, that’s not how life works. You have to read every line, meet every character. You won’t enjoy all of it. Hell, some chapters will make you cry for weeks. You will read things you don’t want to read, you will have moments when you don’t want the pages to end. But you have to keep going.
Stories keep the world revolving. Live your story, don’t miss out.
Now this paragraph is for my close friends. The question is; “Was i angry on Frank?” Answer is: No, i laughed at his tiny mind in November-2019. I was applying for PhD research scholar positions in Berlin. New city for me, Frank took me & few friends to an EXOTIC CAR MEET-UP, that too in a Dacia Duster. Not judging the car, any Dacia or VW is a good daily driver. But, I was laughing at the idea of going to an EXOTIC CAR MEET-UP in a DACIA DUSTER.😂
(No matter how much i praise a Tesla, i am a petrolhead by heart. I am a sucker for all AMG & BMW M-series cars, manual rear wheel drive please.)
Your body sheds your tired skin every twenty seven days. You were not made to hold your past within you. You were not made to carry it all on your back. You physically let go of every bad thing that has ever touched you, of every pair of foreign hands that unbuttoned your shirt but never your demons; you let go of every regret, of every insecurity. You are always gifted a clean slate.
Remember that your tongue is the strongest muscle in your body. You were made to speak, so speak loudly and communicate honestly about how you feel. Speak about what hurts you, about what has broken you. Speak about your story, share it with the world.
Letting go does not mean you stop caring. It means you stop trying to force others to.
1. You commit to and practice observing yourself. 2. You notice a story you’re telling yourself. 3. You set a boundary you may not have set before. 4. You honour a commitment to yourself. 5. You take ownership and accountability when there’s something to own. 6. You can see another perspective outside of your own. 7. You see the pain of others in their reactivity without over personalizing. 8. You move away from changing others and move towards integrating the change you’d like to see for yourself.
GROWTH is often uncomfortable, messy, and full of feelings you weren’t EXPECTING. But it’s necessary.
A high school teacher once said; “Being close & open to your opposite sex is important, you become more transparent, there’s no insecurities which makes you more confident. Later that also helps you build better relationship/friendships”. I took those words bit too seriously i guess. Even though my name is bit spoiled with university girls, I haven’t dated many in my almost close to 30 life. Actually i never missed dating someone. Being an extrovert & a LEO, I always had/have options to choose with whom i want to hangout/party/travel/workout/get cozy/watch Netflix/movie night/go hiking or shopping.
Now back to the story/confession/realisation, here it goes: Way back when I was getting over a breakup, I used to spend most of my night filled with anger & a boyish temper. I didn’t realize it back then, I had so much to achieve in my life & such negative feelings weren’t helping. I wondered why she was able to get over faster than I was. Later I realised, it’s because I was spending so much time hating that situation rather than getting over it.
Anyone from my university friends scratching their head which breakup i am talking about; it’s my bestfriend DEMI. We are bestfriends since 7th century, but we have a mad crazy past. We dated for a very short period of time, I wasn’t ready for a COMMITMENT & i literally thought we were just fooling around. Fault was mine. I said YES to 4 girls for prom night & 2 out of those 4 were our seniors. I was expecting DEMI will be cool with it. To fight back & make me jealous, DEMI went on a date with one of my friends named Ivan. Being a loyal bro, Ivan asked my permission whether he is allowed to take DEMI out for a full monty brunch. DEMI didn’t like her date. She wanted to patch what fell apart in between us, but i was more focused with my studies & part-time job. I didn’t care much because i am the kinda guy who’s happy when my bank account grows, my life is more about my growth rather than allowing someone to mess with my piece of peace. Let’s say, I am a happy man because i am married to my bank account.
It became a runner/chaser situation for a week. Sad to say, i was the runner. One saturday evening it was snowing really bad. It was a lightbulb moment for me, I invited DEMI to try my homemade sourdough pizza. It wasn’t tasty like store-bought pizza, but we both ate it with pin drop silence. That was my first try with sourdough fermentation. Next day DEMI came to my apartment early morning, we followed another recipe from some website & we baked that pizza perfectly. We both were upset about each other’s behaviour. An amazing conversation after a good pizza helped us heal. We both got the closure & clarity we needed.
Coming back to this current day called TODAY, the only person who still sits on my lap is DEMI. I can ask her for a head & back massage anytime i want. We go on long drives. It’s a weddings/royal dinner invitations/travelling to some islands during weekends, we are each other’s +1 partner. If weather is not ok, we make it better by cuddling/spooning each other. 3-4 times she suggested whether we can date again! And as usual, I am not ready for dating experiments. But we already have an amazing equation, i don’t want to destroy that by allowing some romantic melodrama. We have a verbal agreement, there’s a sweet punishment if we miss each other’s phonecall or facetime. Last time i missed DEMI’s call when i was attending a university seminar, i had to send a butt naked snapchat streak to all my 186 friends as punishment. Our communication is flawless. The truth is, it took us a long time to build the amazing equation we share & i am not strong enough to hurt her. If i know someone who is TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT so far in my life, it’s DEMI. Now there’s nothing except RESPECT & ADMIRATION towards each other.
Takeaway: Whatever struggle you are facing in your life, make sure you are not poisoning yourself with anger when you could be giving yourself love. When you are filled with anger or hate, the only person that suffers is you because most of the people you hate don’t know it and the rest don’t care. Fill yourself with SELF-LOVE & SUCCESS before you are in search of LOVE.
Life can be fulfilling at both 16 and also 60. 25 and 35. Joy is timeless. Learning how to make the most of where you are does not have an age cut-off or a deadline. You will always be able to sit and wonder about things that could have gone differently. But you can also trust: you have not missed out on what was meant for you.
I know it’s hard to trust when so much is unknown, so instead of trying to make sense of it all at once, take it all color by color, tree by tree, scent by scent, take it one by one. You don’t have to take it all in at once. Take in the newness of it all one moment at a time without worrying about the moments to come. Let that be enough. Breathe deep and let this moment be enough. Let this be a place where you find peace.
Remember the ground beneath your feet, you belong here. No one has taken your place. You are not too far from grace. Your story might be unfolding differently than expected but that doesn’t mean it won’t be beautiful. Where you are meant to be, you will be in time, no matter your age or stage of life. Life is fun. Let it be. Let it flourish at it’s own pace.
Each of us leads unique lives with experiences that nobody else will ever completely understand. Your story holds so many valuable lessons that can help inspire, teach, and motivate someone else. Should you choose to share it!?! In life, I have heard so many different stories. Just by listening, I learned so many different things. I’m so thankful I found the courage to share my story as well and talk about what I’ve been through. Not only has it helped me, but it has helped give perspective and strength to so many other people, my people to be precise. I encourage you to do the same.
Share your story with someone who is worth your time. You never know how one sentence of your life story could inspire someone to rewrite their own. No matter what you have been through in life, good or bad, don’t take it for granted. There are lessons in every moment of our lives.
Since my childhood i am that odd one out kinda person in my family. My family is a mixture of different values/culture/faith/religion. And i always feel bored when someone talks about religion or God. It’s my middle school days i remember, one of my friends named Mohsin said “he is a true muslim, because he is praying 5 times a day & he is fasting during EID”. The same way another christinan friend said “he follows everything from easter, saint patrick’s day, thanksgiving, christmas to sunday mass because he is a believer in ONE TRUE CHURCH catholic values/teachings”. All such things were just foolish to my middle school brain. My middle school & high school days were all about playing chess, basketball, some video games, playing piano, little bit of painting, if i had too much free time i was teaching trigonometry & physics to few of my dumb friends. I never understood religion & God.
Let’s come to the main part of the story. My religion is Hindu. And both of my parents are full time employees & they are also bit too much into social service. So during my childhood i got plenty of time to spend with my grandparents. Out of curiosity once i asked my grandpa; “All my friends say something about their God or religion. Is there a process to be a true or good hindu?” First he laughed at me for 2 minutes, then he replied; “You become a good human, that’s good hindu”. I again asked; “Which specific God to pray & what’s the prayer i have to chant?” He again laughed at me, then replied; “There are literally 33 million Gods in our religion, even i am confused. Right now finish your homework & studies, eat all vegetables without being a pain to your mama, don’t watch TV for long time, sleep before 9pm, wake up early in the morning, these are all your duties/work at this age, after few years your work will become your identity. And your work is your best worship to your God.” That’s all i was taught about religion. My grandpa died at the age of 97+. I still remember every single moment i spent around him.
Some friends question why i attend church service sometimes even though i am not a Christian!! The answer is; There was a church on my way to school. Father of that church used to give free teacakes to every kid after morning prayer. Sometimes i used to eat that teacake while going to school, and sometimes i used to give it to any homeless or disabled person near my street. These tiny memories are still alive in me. I work & i make little more money than i can consume even after my share of savings+investment, i try to give it back to the society from where i earned. That’s why sometimes it’s a visit to any orphanage, community shelter/home & sometimes also it’s a sunday service. It’s not like I don’t believe in God, it’s more like “I DON’T BELIEVE IN DIFFERENT RELIGIONS HAVE DIFFERENT GODS”. If there’s a GOD, there’s only one.
The gist of the story is; Do something good everyday or just do your work/duty in time, rest assured your GOD loves you.
Never judge someone till you walk in their shoes. Never prioritise people above you because everything/everyone is an option in this materialistic world. After you are sure about previous two lines; Never become too selfish with own ways because there are always two sides of every story.
If you want to know about my past before approaching, I have answer for you.
I don’t have any sort of LOVE story to serve your query. There are bunch of not-so-meaningful encounters or sex stories you can say. Yes I was wowed & about to fall for someone, escaped that thing at the right time. It’s good when mask falls off, you are left with only TRUTH.