I hope you fall in love with being alive. I hope you read books and understand that life is so much more than expecting an apologetic text from that person you won’t remember in a couple of years. I hope you feel pursued. I hope you have the best of friends. And I even hope you get in trouble together. I hope you make fun memories and take too many pictures and scream at the top of your lungs on roller coasters. I hope you swim in the depths of the oceans. And I hope you feel the dirt underneath your fingernails when you climb mountains. I hope you know the joys of genuine laughter. I hope you know the difference between wisdom and test scores. I hope you understand that you can be anything you want to be. I hope you also understand you have to work hard to get it. I hope you stay consistent with your approach towards life. I hope you do more than sit around and complain about the things that could change. Because I hope you are the CHANGE.
I hope you journal and write every thought down. I hope you learn how to skate. I hope you eat your fruits and vegetables. I hope you treat your body well. I hope you respect your reputation. I hope you build your IDENTITY. But I also hope you have fun. In fact, I hope you have unapologetic shameless kinda fun without hurting others. Because I hope you fall in LOVE with being alive. (Not my words).
It is okay to miss someone, miss someone who is not right for you, but at that moment gave you what you needed. Maybe it was the words that touched you where you thought nobody understood you. Maybe it was the touch that you cherished that way, the arm around you, the emptiness that was filled up. Someone you could talk to, someone who listened. Maybe that person didn’t understand you, maybe the void wasn’t filled in the right way, maybe the beautiful moments were not enough to make the dark sides forget. But at that moment, what you needed was what filled you void, right or wrong. You loved the person because of his or her beautiful sides, the beautiful memories that you have built. And it’s okay to acknowledge that it might have been nothing more than a consolation, a dream, a memory, a relationship that did not meet your expectations, a relationship in which you did not match, a good hope, with a painful outcome.
It is okay when your expectations, your dreams and your hope lead to disappointment, painful, difficult and sad, but okay. It is okay, because this means that you have tried it, that you have learned from it, that you make each other an experience richer. You get up again, you take your experience with you, you look at yourself, and you focus, you focus on yourself, your next encounter, a new encounter and a promising future that lies ahead. (Not my words).
Story goes back to my highschool days. I used to suck at history & geography. But my grades with maths, physics, chemistry & language papers were amazing. I was a 85-90% scoring student. I was a good chess player, i have played state level game 9 times to be exact. Most of my school friends were dead serious about football, that game never excited me. I was not crazy about sports in school, but i was fond of playing basketball or volleyball with my street pals. Because such weird interests, i made some friends outside my school. Most of them were my seniors, nobody cared because of my height & build. I think i look like a beefcake since forever. On top of that I hit puberty little earlier. In my class, i was the only 13 year old with some moustache & beard.
It was summer vacation after my grade-8. Few of my new streetsmart friends suggested to watch “THE MATRIX RELOADED”, of course it’s an amazing movie, but watching the same thing 4 times in 2 weeks smelled like a dumb idea. So we went to a DVD movie rental store to browse any other movie we can watch. Suddenly it started raining. One of my wise friends wanted to rent a X-rated movie. Let me clear, it wasn’t a porno. I agree some scenes were bit too much for our teenage eager brain. One of my friend’s neighbour girl knocked my door that evening and told me that she saw me renting/watching that movie. My “good student” image was really important to me & being an extrovert asshole i was, i cracked a deal within 20-30 minutes. Deal was; she will not say anything about that movie to anyone & we need condoms before locking doors. I lost my cherry that evening. She was 4 years elder to me & she started acting way too much romantic within a week, which was hella confusing. I had to cut everything bluntly because i wanted to focus on my studies, my friends, my chess, my piano lessons, my playstation, my basketball power forward position, my swimming classes & my 16 miles ride to a nearby river.
I am in my late 20s building strong morals & a big bank account, so that i can buy all happiness i desire for myself & my family. My approach to life in general is; “REMAIN TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT, YOU WILL SEE EVERY POSSIBLE SUCCESS COMING YOUR WAY”. That’s all i wanna see in my people. That day & today; whenever i say i like someone, my friends think i am talking about some latina’s fine ass. Never understood how to be romantic. Basically i never wanted someone so bad that i can imagine being in a relationship. I was into someone recently, let’s not name it a relationship. I came in touch with someone who walked the same journey as mine & she is living in my city since 2012, but i got to know her after 6-7 years. It’s amazing to see people who believe in same basic human values as yours. The sad part is; people & their predictable behaviour. Especially their inconsistency, that’s my biggest turn off moment. I have made some rules to lead a simple happy happening life & one rule says; Every liar is inconsistent & every inconsistent person is a liar. Whenever someone acts inconsistent, just cut that equation no matter it’s a friendship, relationship, fling or fuck-buddy. Once a person goes inconsistent, their next step is lying. That’s how every inconsistent person tries to justify their inconsistency.
Moral of the story is; Never offer half baked emotions/attention/affection, first you have to be sure about yourself whether you are ready!! I am a strong believer of KARMA. I believe if i can do something wrong with someone, some other person can do the same thing with me.
This post is my little respect to those who enjoy traveling.
Traveling messes you up, but in all the good ways. It leaves you craving more, an addiction that can never quite be met. Every place, every trip, every person is a new unexpected adventure; pulling you deeper into the love of wanderlust. Your heart begins to hurt when you’re standing still, and your mind begins to itch over the idea of new places you haven’t been. Fill your soul with adventure and traveling and you will live a fulfilled life.
Why once you’ve traveled for the first time all you want to do is leave again!! They call it the travel bug, but really it’s the urge to return to a place where you are surrounded by people who share common interests & speak the same language as you do. Not English or Spanish or German, but that language where others know what it’s like to leave, change, grow, experience, learn, then go back home again and feel more lost in your hometown then you did in the most foreign place you visited. Missing few of my stupid university mates while typing this post. Grateful for the days which always pop up as memories in my Google photos.
I am a big petrolhead, but i also prefer a silent calm environment with less noise & pollution. Cities are beautiful because of it’s people, so it’s always our responsibility to make it more sustainable. In case you are from Berlin, make sure you sign this petition. http://volksentscheid-berlin-autofrei.de