Sunday story time.. 02.

Of course it’s another story about TAP.

Story goes back to my highschool days. I used to suck at history & geography. But my grades with maths, physics, chemistry & language papers were amazing. I was a 85-90% scoring student. I was a good chess player, i have played state level game 9 times to be exact. Most of my school friends were dead serious about football, that game never excited me. I was not crazy about sports in school, but i was fond of playing basketball or volleyball with my street pals. Because such weird interests, i made some friends outside my school. Most of them were my seniors, nobody cared because of my height & build. I think i look like a beefcake since forever. On top of that I hit puberty little earlier. In my class, i was the only 13 year old with some moustache & beard.

It was summer vacation after my grade-8. Few of my new streetsmart friends suggested to watch “THE MATRIX RELOADED”, of course it’s an amazing movie, but watching the same thing 4 times in 2 weeks smelled like a dumb idea. So we went to a DVD movie rental store to browse any other movie we can watch. Suddenly it started raining. One of my wise friends wanted to rent a X-rated movie. Let me clear, it wasn’t a porno. I agree some scenes were bit too much for our teenage eager brain. One of my friend’s neighbour girl knocked my door that evening and told me that she saw me renting/watching that movie. My “good student” image was really important to me & being an extrovert asshole i was, i cracked a deal within 20-30 minutes. Deal was; she will not say anything about that movie to anyone & we need condoms before locking doors. I lost my cherry that evening. She was 4 years elder to me & she started acting way too much romantic within a week, which was hella confusing. I had to cut everything bluntly because i wanted to focus on my studies, my friends, my chess, my piano lessons, my playstation, my basketball power forward position, my swimming classes & my 16 miles ride to a nearby river.

I am in my late 20s building strong morals & a big bank account, so that i can buy all happiness i desire for myself & my family. My approach to life in general is; “REMAIN TRUTHFUL & CONSISTENT, YOU WILL SEE EVERY POSSIBLE SUCCESS COMING YOUR WAY”. That’s all i wanna see in my people. That day & today; whenever i say i like someone, my friends think i am talking about some latina’s fine ass. Never understood how to be romantic. Basically i never wanted someone so bad that i can imagine being in a relationship. I was into someone recently, let’s not name it a relationship. I came in touch with someone who walked the same journey as mine & she is living in my city since 2012, but i got to know her after 6-7 years. It’s amazing to see people who believe in same basic human values as yours. The sad part is; people & their predictable behaviour. Especially their inconsistency, that’s my biggest turn off moment. I have made some rules to lead a simple happy happening life & one rule says; Every liar is inconsistent & every inconsistent person is a liar. Whenever someone acts inconsistent, just cut that equation no matter it’s a friendship, relationship, fling or fuck-buddy. Once a person goes inconsistent, their next step is lying. That’s how every inconsistent person tries to justify their inconsistency.

Moral of the story is;
Never offer half baked emotions/attention/affection, first you have to be sure about yourself whether you are ready!! I am a strong believer of KARMA. I believe if i can do something wrong with someone, some other person can do the same thing with me.

Tap OUT..😘

Sunday story time.. 01.

Since my childhood i am that odd one out kinda person in my family. My family is a mixture of different values/culture/faith/religion. And i always feel bored when someone talks about religion or God. It’s my middle school days i remember, one of my friends named Mohsin said “he is a true muslim, because he is praying 5 times a day & he is fasting during EID”. The same way another christinan friend said “he follows everything from easter, saint patrick’s day, thanksgiving, christmas to sunday mass because he is a believer in ONE TRUE CHURCH catholic values/teachings”. All such things were just foolish to my middle school brain. My middle school & high school days were all about playing chess, basketball, some video games, playing piano, little bit of painting, if i had too much free time i was teaching trigonometry & physics to few of my dumb friends. I never understood religion & God.

Let’s come to the main part of the story. My religion is Hindu. And both of my parents are full time employees & they are also bit too much into social service. So during my childhood i got plenty of time to spend with my grandparents.
Out of curiosity once i asked my grandpa;
“All my friends say something about their God or religion. Is there a process to be a true or good hindu?”
First he laughed at me for 2 minutes, then he replied;
“You become a good human, that’s good hindu”.
I again asked;
“Which specific God to pray & what’s the prayer i have to chant?”
He again laughed at me, then replied;
“There are literally 33 million Gods in our religion, even i am confused. Right now finish your homework & studies, eat all vegetables without being a pain to your mama, don’t watch TV for long time, sleep before 9pm, wake up early in the morning, these are all your duties/work at this age, after few years your work will become your identity. And your work is your best worship to your God.”
That’s all i was taught about religion. My grandpa died at the age of 97+. I still remember every single moment i spent around him.

Some friends question why i attend church service sometimes even though i am not a Christian!! The answer is; There was a church on my way to school. Father of that church used to give free teacakes to every kid after morning prayer. Sometimes i used to eat that teacake while going to school, and sometimes i used to give it to any homeless or disabled person near my street.
These tiny memories are still alive in me. I work & i make little more money than i can consume even after my share of savings+investment, i try to give it back to the society from where i earned. That’s why sometimes it’s a visit to any orphanage, community shelter/home & sometimes also it’s a sunday service. It’s not like I don’t believe in God, it’s more like “I DON’T BELIEVE IN DIFFERENT RELIGIONS HAVE DIFFERENT GODS”. If there’s a GOD, there’s only one.

The gist of the story is; Do something good everyday or just do your work/duty in time, rest assured your GOD loves you.

Tap OUT..πŸ€—

Babies: always works!!😍

Someone shared this video in university WhatsApp group & I just nicked it. Don’t know about other parents/people, I love it when kids swear something unknowingly. Now don’t ask me why Rob’s 2yr old toddler calls me “TAPPIE” with a huge smile & says “ASSHOLE” to his dad.

Everybody thinks “I LOVE KIDS”, it’s actually the other way around “KIDS LOVE ME”. Reason; I still wear Tom and Jerry hoodies once in a while & I know I can bribe them ice cream or cheesecake to join #teamTAP.
Tap OUT..😜

BESTIE BITCH: One & only pain in my ass!!πŸ€ͺ

We are the worst duo ever. When I want to surf, she wants to shop. When I want to eat, she wants to empty the entire bottle of booze. When I want to workout, she wants to go stargazing. When I want to watch Tom & Jerry, this bitch literally wants to know everything about Marvel cinematic universe that too from my mouth & suddenly starts fighting with me over which pizza tastes the best or why black pudding is the shittiest thing in a full monty breakfast. The summary of this entire post is; I got a real good bimbo as my bestfriend since forever, let’s say since past 530 years.

Can’t finish this post without thanking DEMI for being there to handle this 76 kilo huge baby monster named TAP. Congratulations for your master’s degree, I wasn’t expecting you can clear backlogs this year as well fr. But 2020 is a surprising menace, so is your interest in studies. I am happy they cancelled university ball, I hated those dance rehearsals over facetime. Keep slaying and I hate it when you use my apartment like your dad’s credit card. Btw you must consider returning your dad’s credit card back to him. Swear i will not be single for long, so please get a guy for yourself. Here’s my sweet slap to your all 4 cheeks. Congrats again. You are adored, always. I have taken a long time to figure out “I wanna wow/woo someone”, FYI my future boo will totally hate our equation. Have a good one. Muuaaahhh..πŸ˜™

Tap OUT..πŸ€—πŸ˜˜

Instant Gratification & HOW IT’S KILLING OUR SOCIETY!!

(If you don’t want to read something about my past personal experiences & jump to the heading of the post directly, skip first 3 paragraphs).

“Reject, V-step, Indian step, Reebok, Dougie, Robocop & C-walk”. Before these words start confusing you, let me clear they all are some forms of hip-hop dance moves. Coming to that reason why I mentioned something stupid like this in such a serious topic. To be a unique you, you either need to be better or different in a good way, this paragraph is about how different/impossible I am. I wasn’t a great student in my high-school/engineering college days because I was hella influenced by “how internet works” & step-up movies/hip-hop music. Again i was not a good student but a good scorer, still an amazing A+ (80%+) in entire student life. My interest for making own money got stronger which pushed focus towards freelancing projects related to some software development & little bit related to mechanical engineering tools like CAD/CAM, not gonna discuss all these failures/success related to my teen days. I value education & I am still pursuing my doctorate after master’s in business administration. I will remain a student forever. Writing this post about my teen & early twenty days while I am still in my twenties.

So why I mentioned those dance forms!! Like any young kid, even I wanted three things in common; “GOOD GRADES, GOOD CLOTHES/KICKS, GOOD LOOKS”. GOOD GRADES to make parents happy. GOOD CLOTHES/SNEAKERS to make friends jealous. GOOD LOOKS to woo/wow the hottest girl around. At the end, even when that was falling short my interests/hobbies/skills played a key role to move me towards what I desired. My interests in chess, robotics, dance, music, cooking, coding, piano, gym, boxing, trekking, skateboarding & surfing helped me get everything I wanted because of my PERSISTENCE. To attend an interschool essay/debate, compete at state-level chess, give speech in a seminar/conference, drive 200 kilometres for mountain climbing, walk 9 kilometres for finishing hiking/trekking, build robots to fight in engineering fests, woo that senior grade curly hair fit af light-skin girl with my b-boying dance moves before eating her entire summer vacation nights (during my A levels), all were a time consuming process and I was/am always persistent towards my desires. Everything I mentioned took tons of effort & dedication, that’s the only reason they all are still alive in me which reflects in my personality as well. Agree I am a generous happy happening horny little-arrogant self-invested athletic sober sweet pain in the ass, who is habituated to more than enough good/bad attention since a long long time because of everything I mentioned above about dance or anything else in my student life. I am so me because of all achievements/blunders I made during my teen days. (Another stupid info; It didn’t workout with the girl I mentioned, because she started smoking & doing drugs with her girl’s gang. I just hate smokers.)

Let’s talk a bit about how social media has bummed few of our social coping mechanism. In my engineering days when vine came, I loved few of those skits because they all were original/funny/witty. 6-10 seconds worth-it laughable moments in case you can figure out the humour meanwhile. Still I prefer Mr.bean anyday. But now when Tik-tok started getting popular after changing it’s name from “musically”, I hated the concept of every person lip syncing to the same song establishing that bullshit as a “TREND” for a week. When we talk 80’s or 90’s trend, we talk about a whole decade. The fuck is this current trend of Tik-tok which changes every week. Never downloaded that app in my phone, i saw some clips in YouTube because someone uploaded a collage of few clips. I hated it more than the word “Tik-tok”. Now instagram reels is doing exactly the same. And Instagram is a highlight reel of a person’s life since beginning. My point is; “if someone is happy to see your dance/face/ass for 15 seconds & gets entertainment from that, aren’t you literally selling yourself for a super cheap attention span!!” It’s not just you doing same enactment, there are literally a million others doing the same nonsense. There is nothing called creativity in it. That’s my perspective, anyone can argue & I will not connect to this idea of so-called entertainment in this perspective. That doesn’t mean all influencers should vanish from social media apps or you should stop posing infront of Eiffel tower touching it’s tip over air during your next trip to Paris. Do what you like and what you can allow yourself with a smile on your face, it’s WORTH IT.

Yeah, this post is about INSTANT GRATIFICATION. LET’S GO. Now a days the attention span of everything is decreasing with time. The coming generation is an example of “ready to eat” meal, including us 90’s kids. Whatever you want, you want it instantly. I mean there is no interest in investing yourself into anything, not a content, not a unique skillset, not an article, not reading a book, no interest in studies, not even in building a stable relationship. Everything must happen instantaneously. There is a big example how that reflects in society. You wanna watch a movie, you can watch it right now. You wanna watch a series, you can watch any episode from any season from any time. People skip seasons to binge next seasons. You don’t need to wait because you don’t want to wait for next episode to drop or go to a movie theatre for advance ticket booking. You wanna buy something, click amazon prime it’s arrived same day or next day. You don’t need to wait for anything. You don’t need to be persistent at all. Suppose you wanna go on a date, you don’t even need to be little aware of how to behave on your first date. You don’t need to work on “how to make the other person understand you value them”. You don’t even need to learn or practice that skill/manner to be a man/gentleman or a posh woman/girl (read it as you want). Swipe right, DONE. Zero social coping mechanism at play. Everything you want is instantaneous & it’s instantaneously available as well. Just gave you an Outlook of INSTANT GRATIFICATION.

Now what are those which is not available this easy? Answer: Work which satisfies your soul not just wallet & a strong stable relationship. Let’s say JOB SATISFACTION & TIME TESTED TRUTHFUL TOGETHERNESS, no app or no instantaneous approach will ever work here. These two are slow complex time consuming yet simple process, only if you acknowledge/endorse to be truthful & persistent. Few other things also take investment of time such as, MORAL, MONEY, SKILL, HOBBY, QUALIFICATION, SELF-RESPECT & CHARACTER.

In today’s world nobody is intrested to fetch/earn something amazing. Forget being smart or hard work, there is an existential crisis at play where all are actually dreaming for the minimum. Minimum wage, minimum amount of happiness, minimum timeframe to get fit/slim, minimum time to master a skill, minimum time/effort to get your life partner, most of which are nothing but a fake fuckery. My conclusion; Patience is missing. Desire to be skilled/informed is missing. Suicide/drug overdose deaths/alcohol/smoking/weed on rise. There is an entire generation of “OK” is booming where the idea/ideology of believing in self to become “EXTRAORDINARY/AMAZING” is missing. That’s my view on “INSTANT GRATIFICATION” & how it’s killing our society.

Tap OUT..πŸ’ͺ

Stolen from my Instagram stories!!πŸ˜‹

Inactive in my instagram since 3 years almost, after this pandemic situation calms down little bit I wanna travel to some icy cold parts of this world, jump naked into the snow & vlog once again. Shared some 2-3 year old instagram stories, hope to earn a smile in exchange.

Tap OUT..πŸ˜œπŸ€—

Entrepreneur!! Not me..😜

Whenever I am invited to business/investment summits or conferences/seminars, one question I am always asked in common “Any advice to budding entrepreneurs?”

The funniest part is, I myself don’t like to be termed as an ENTREPRENEUR. The day I entered health supplement business, I promised myself to give some respect to this word ENTREPRENEUR & stop using it beside my name till I make a million quid out of my business. It will take little time and I am in no rush. This is the reason behind why I always mention “Tiny/small health supplement business”. Tap here to read more.

Now back to the question & what I always answer; There are many so called entrepreneur brains who get influenced by wrong people outside the square. And unfortunately when you are new to business, you are unsure about what advice you should be taking! This way “ADVICE” becomes a big part of the problem. My way to deal with it is; “Don’t try to sell something that you aren’t willing to buy”. This bold italic line actually means; “Don’t try to serve something that you can’t accept. It can be cheat, betrayal, a bad business deal, a product you aren’t confident or a bad soup/pizza/salad/cheesecake/crumpets/macaroni in your new restaurant”. Consumer’s demand is the driver of any business & our duty is limited to supply. Materials teach us a lot about life. In my business, I sell some whey protein powders & other few sports enhancement supplements. Even before I entered this business, I am a consumer to everything that I sell since ages. I happily consume them, that’s why I am confident to sell it. If consumer is KING, then PRODUCT is the KINGDOM. You know one stupid yet important line few grandpa generation stock market investors usually say “STICK TO BASICS & PRIORITISE PRIORITIES IN RIGHT TIME FOR A JOYFUL OUTCOME”.

Suppose you are someone who has nothing to do with business or entrepreneurship. Did you get any benefit out of spending your 3 minutes reading this? Answer: DEFINITELY YES. Never ever try to lie, discourage, manipulative, gossip behind someone, seize somebody else’s happiness/limelight or don’t even try to cheat on your partner maybe (in case you have one), all because you are not ready to accept these things happily. If you can’t take it, don’t even dare to throw it at someone. Life is fun, simple & happening. We must respect & be truthful to everyone like we do with ourself.

(Fuck I am missing some Warburton crumpets right now just because I typed about selling crumpets in restaurants. Please don’t. This paragraph is completely out of context. I am an avid hater of sugar, but the only time I can allow myself to apply some honey butter on something is when I have crumpets with my morning coffee.)

Tap OUT..😘

My experience with DEPRESSION. Why I am what I am!!

COVID-19 pandemic, severe economic damages, number of jobless people on rise with systematic racism on top, this world literally needs a reboot somewhere with ample doses of humanity.

This post is not about racism or corona virus situation. Talking about mental health & depression; I totally understand DEPRESSION is real, RACISM is real, FOOLS are heading nations, TEENS & YOUNG PEOPLE are busy with tiktok and weed/cocaine (Don’t know why i fucking hate it, smokers are disgusting in my eyes.) & at the end I will definitely mention “INEQUALITY IS A DEEP ROOTED ISSUE IN OUR SOCIETY”. Again my bad, I swear I will stick to this topic of MENTAL HEALTH & DEPRESSION from now onwards. Here’s my take, unbiased & raw.

Have I ever experienced any mental health issues or anything like DEPRESSION? Answer: Hell YES. I have experienced it like any other random human at certain phase of life. I have done my fair share of amazing mistakes & chaotic nonsensical blunders. I have seen depression. Now I am gonna share few secrets about me; I have done illegal knuckle boxing, broken few bones of my opponents to feed my anger, broken my bones with two illegal racing related accidents, ran away from home during my teen days, stopped communication with parents for a long time, was framed for a heinous business practice in a partnership where I wasted a tiny chunk of my life (later came out clean legally after fighting for the right), failed to be son my parents wanted me to be. I have cried nights sitting under shower without eating anything for days while experiencing million different suicidal thoughts. It’s been 13 years I am staying away from home, in hostel till college days and currently in my rented apartment. Whatever I mentioned here, they all contributed to an immense amount of mental trauma in my past which drained a lot of sanity from me. Most pains were caused by my own actions & sometimes when people around failed to show me a tiny bit of empathy. I have given pain to few in my past, even that hurts me at some point. At a certain point I just came to a realisation that “a RACIST/NARCISSISTIC/ABUSIVE/NEGATIVE person is a person who gains momentum from a good person’s downward movement. That’s how they get more power to do the nasty shit they love to do. Last observation: THIS WORLD WORKS ON THE BASIS OF EAT OR GET EATEN & A PERSON WITH HATE IN HIS HEART WILL CONTINUE TO BE THE SAME TILL HE DIES WITH THAT HATE. Nobody can change them. One thing you can do is; become powerful and laugh at their face or be kind and smile to their foolishness”. Either ways “BE TRUTHFUL & KIND”, your god wants that from you. Nobody else is in your control except yourself, so first change yourself to a better human being.

Now you must be thinking “why this stupid TAP again lost his way from mental health?” No I didn’t. This brown guy named TAP has been through some of that racial profiling during those “business partnership went wrong days” i mentioned above. I will talk about that incident some other day. Do I have complaints? No I don’t. The only thing which helped me stand up on my feet is a 24/7 running eager brain to learn something new. I am still a twenty something amazing TAP right now. I have a bachelor’s in engineering, master’s degree in business administration, i own two tiny businesses, currently pursuing PhD as a research scholar & my current passport has stamp of 29 countries if I am correct. And I preach “LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL”.

Right now only problem is my anger I still encounter once in a while. My past has made me emotionally unavailable to every single human I interact. I understand only one language called MONEY. Actually I can say; my religion is MONEY. Here is a funny conversation in middle of this serious post. Within these few years I have developed a thick skin where you can’t push me down or use fowl words to screw my mood, haters live in my spam. I acknowledge being a grumpy asshole at the peak point of my arrogance, I am just afraid of myself when people try to spoil my piece of peace. That moment my anger reflects as my arrogance and I can’t hide it. I literally feel like I can punch that face enough till jaw is broken so that less venom will spread via that shitty mouth. Controlling anger is my biggest challenge.

You must have noticed me preaching about going out to nature. That’s one reason I actually snap out once in a while. I head to some nearby forest/garden/park or hilltop. That me-time makes me realise I am not the bad person I usually get afraid of. I am still taking steps towards getting rid of my dark side. Never ever thought even for a second I am better compared/superior to someone else. But I am different/unique. Unique because of my own set of success, schedule, routine, mindset, diet, goodness, past, habit, bad habits, flaws & yeah my addiction to homemade sugar free cheesecake made by chef TAP. I know what’s right & where can I go wrong!! There is something called “intuition” which works constantly towards understanding & bringing my best. “Success will not guarantee happiness, but happiness is way bigger better than SUCCESS”. My today’s A-game will be tomorrow’s B, I can’t blame this on anyone because it’s the rule of this fast moving world. In this process of analysing myself, mental health became a priority like my 5pack abs(I am missing my gym like life). You can do 100 push-ups to get a fit body, there is a workout routine you can follow. For your mind, the only workout is learning & only cure is happiness. Learning here doesn’t mean just studying, learning from surrounding or people, learning a new business, being a better person, everything is a learning which gives you a good or bad lesson with little value to your life. I am that guy who starts his day by checking himself naked in mirror right after waking up. This fit body makes me more confident & comfortable anywhere I am. Working towards being a better human, that’s the end goal. Yes depression tried to pull me down & my grumpy face firey eyes showed him little bit of that fighter spirit in me mixed with some leo pride. Not the finish line yet, but DEPRESSION FAILED already. I will say “I AM HAPPY instead of I WON”.

I know i wrote something completely scattered jumbled within 11 minutes while thinking about what not to eat for breakfast today, literally bored of baked beans on toast. Sending loads of vibe to earn a smile.
Tap OUT..😘

My favourite CHEF..

I would happily name this post “MY FAVOURITE INSTAGRAMMER”, but his sharp cooking/baking skills are tremendously helpful & inspiring. Big up chef kobe..πŸ˜‹πŸ˜‚